Stirring up controversy
Your favourite sports team sucks. And that one guy on the team? The one everyone loves? He’s an asshole.
You may rest assured that wherever I happen to be at any given moment, it is better than where you are and the girls are hotter here. Where you are has more hard-lookin’ women than the Klingon Empire.*
The local version of the Sun newspaper is just as bad here as wherever you are.** The Sunshine Girls are two-to-three beers attractive, at best. This is the Universal Constant of the Sunshine Girl (UCSG).***
Your favourite beer is watery swill compared to whatever happens to be my preferred brew.****
San Francisco is nice, but Rice-a-Roni isn’t as common as it should be.
* Joke shamelessly stolen. I have, in fact, unilaterally put it in the public domain.
** Except where Iggy is. They don’t have newspapers in Spudsville; they communicate news by milk carton and the cap liners of refillable glass soft-drink containers.
*** Note an actual constant, since it varies.
**** Unless your favourite is an obscure import or micro-brew, in which case you’re a beer snob and should be stripped of your basic human rights.
May 2nd, 2008 at 4:39 pm
I think I will concede your points on paragraphs #1 & #2, but wholeheartedly disagree with paragraphs #3 and #4.
May 2nd, 2008 at 5:20 pm
I cannot disagree strongly enough with your disagreement. In my opinion, we agree 100%.
May 5th, 2008 at 10:43 am
You slackers fail miserably to address paragraph #5, brief as it is. And therein lies the problem. Like my four-to-five page memo, it is inadequate based on its brevity alone. Pathetic. But not as pathetic as the guy who was just happy to get some good swings in against Robinson.
May 5th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
Go back to your milk cartons, old man.
May 9th, 2008 at 5:35 am
Aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Milk cartons!