Moderator: Today we welcome to our venue two of the leading voices at Krankor.com: Daniella A. Apple, Green Party candidate for Deershit Hills-Landfill Gulch, Saskatchewan, and Lord Edmund Bryll, inventor of Brylcreem. Welcome to you both, and thanks for joining us.

Lord Edmund Bryll: Yes, yes, thank you Mr. Williams, thank you. Delighted to be here, you see, though I must admit, at some not inconsiderable risk to my careful planning for the tactical course of the this debate, yes, that I am not altogether convinced that the esteemed — Ms., is it? — Apple is an appropriate foil for a seasoned veteran of the House of Lords such as myself, being as she is rather, shall we say, unlettered, not to say a few synapses shy of an imbecile.  Quite.

Daniella A. Apple: Is this microphone safe? I think it may be radiating cancer through magnet pulsations. Are you trying to give me cancer? You are censorsing me already by giving me cancer because you can not stand the thoughts of the environment being more important to social people than Big Business!

Moderator: Okay! Let’s proceed to the first question: Ms. Apple, Lord Bryll, at this very moment tonight, where do you stand on the financial recovery plan? First response to you, Ms. Apple.

Apple: The finances are important to the environment, so I am glad you asked the question. We need money to fix the environment but also to punish Corporations who steal our health and listen to our thoughts. When I become in power the first thing I will do is save the environment, but also make ourselves into a profit! I am a small businesswoman who knows how to make crafts into money so the finances will come from profit, but not from Corporations or business. Also we need to stop printing money with pictures on it because the old men in the pictures follow me with their eyes.

Bryll: Ah yes, how timely a question! Now, as one who is personally affected by the proposed plans as they currently stand, I cannot help but express a certain amount of satisfaction with the amount of funds directly apportioned to financial bodies that fall under the umbrella of my various holding companies and subsidaries, from AIG to Lehman Brothers to my Cancer-Radiating Microphone factory in China. Yes, quite. If I have a criticism, which you may rest assured by the deft way that I have introduced this thought that I do indeed harbour some degree of criticism, it is that the plan, as currently imagined by the somewhat intellectually bereft politicos in the Colonies, does not go far enough in that, although the allocation of funds and the purchase of debt is particularly gratifying, a truly worthwhile plan would eliminate all taxes upon the affected corporations as a form of, shall we say, bullshit stimulus, which would have the altogether pleasant effect for enhancing my long term cash flow whilst placing an even heavier burden upon the great unwashed masses to support my comfortable, not to say lavish, lifestyle. Indeed!

Moderator: Ms. Apple, your rebuttal.

Apple: Okay, so he says he has all sorts of money, right? But where does money come from when you really think about it? It comes from the Earth! Just like everything else does. So if we loose the Earth, Mr. Brylcreem won’t have any money left! But what about Norway? Funny. Norwegians only think on fish and spying on us. They don’t care about the Earth or money, they only care about Corporations!

End of Part I

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