A good idea whose time has come…
A short while ago I mentioned that I needed a new career. I received a number of very helpful* suggestions, but upon further reflection I realized that changing careers really wouldn’t make me any happier in the long run.
Last night I came to the conclusion that what I really need — what would truly set my life back on the right track — is henchmen.
Now, traditionally, I’d be required to have at least two henchmen: one a big, towering meathead, very strong, very dumb, but possibly good hearted underneath the mountains of muscle; the other, an undersized, hyperactive psychopath who uses violence to compensate for all his other shortcomings.
I’m willing to think outside the box on this one. Maybe I’ll have two wiry little psychopaths, or two big galoots. Maybe what I need is a wise-cracking female henchwoman, who is tough as nails but looks shockingly good in a formal party dress when the situation requires it. Or a midget. A midget would be good.
In any case, I need to start looking around. Do you think there’s a “Henchmen” section in the Yellow Pages, or do I have to post something on Workopolis or Monster.com?
Interested parties are, of course, welcome to contact me directly.
* From my commentors? As if.
.:
October 6th, 2008 at 5:40 am
I’m telling you, Krankor, you really should move back east and take over my job. My staff double as henchmen, see?
Three henchmen, limited contact with society, a nice view of a horse pasture, an easy commute with no headaches from ImPark. And we usually don’t get snow until around Christmas time, as opposed to, um… well, about now. Alcohol can easily be smuggled onto the work premises and hidden in a drawer in the office. When you get bored, there’s a sofa in the next room where you can take a nap.
Seriously. What’s holding you back?
October 6th, 2008 at 5:29 pm
I really don’t want to live on Anticosti Island. That’s what’s holding me back.
October 6th, 2008 at 5:32 pm
One other thing: Does your job take you to exotic places, like Toronto, and get you free accommodations at beautiful resorts, like the Toronto Airport Hotel?
I thought not.
($20 for 24 hours for slow Internet. Wheee!)
October 8th, 2008 at 6:15 am
Fine, you don’t want the assassin job, I’ll take it. I’m in the mood lately to end a few lives.