Doddering Politician Poker – Alberta Edition
Seems I provoked a bit of a conflagration with my post a few days ago of a tongue-tied John McCain. Sporkless lobs a Chretien grenade, and in response Iggy drops a Parizeau bomb. To be frank, I don’t think it will be easy to top Jacques Le Ethnic Vote (though I’m sure there’s some classic footage from James Traficant out there somewhere), but I would like to take this opportunity to proudly present Alberta’s own feckless leader: junior-high school dropout, former sportscaster, and frequently inebriated former Premier, Ralph Klein:
Sadly, there doesn’t appear to be any video of his greatest hits, but this article has a nice rundown. Read the whole thing, but here are some choice moments:
Neither [of Klein's predecessors as Premier] ever gave a protester the finger. Ralph did it as environment minister during a 1990 meeting about a contentious pulp mill project.
One agitated protester advanced in front of Klein and flipped him the middle digit. Klein didn’t miss a beat, glaring and flipping it right back at him.
[...]
He then got his chance to shock the country by complaining in January 1982 about “eastern creeps and bums” driving up the crime rate in Calgary.
[...]
“I WASN’T SUPRISED [sic] THAT SHE CROSSED OVER TO THE LIBERALS. I DON’T THINK SHE EVER DID HAVE A CONSERVATIVE BONE IN HER BODY. WELL, MAYBE ONE.”
Klein at a charity roast, talking about Tory turncoat Belinda Stronach — who used to date Foreign Affairs Minister Peter MacKay — on Nov. 7, 2006.[...]
“YOU GET A LOT OF FREE DINNERS BUT AFTER THAT YOU GET SORT OF TIRED, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU QUIT DRINKING, AND THEN IT’S NO FUN AT ALL, SO I DON’T KNOW WHY THEY WOULD WANT TO DO IT.”
Klein talking to reporters at the Calgary Stampede on July 10, 2006 about his potential successors.[...]
“I OUGHT NOT TO HAVE THROWN THE LIBERAL HEALTH POLICY AT OUR PAGE JENNIFER, AND TO JENNIFER, I APOLOGIZE MOST SINCERELY. … AND I ALSO APOLOGIZE FOR REFERRING TO THE DOCUMENT AS CRAP, MR. SPEAKER.”
Klein apologizing in the Alberta legislature on March 1, 2006 after throwing a Liberal Party health policy booklet and narrowly missing a legislature page.[...]
“THEY DIDN’T LOOK SEVERELY HANDICAPPED TO ME, I TELL YOU THAT FOR SURE. THEY BOTH HAD CIGARETTES DANGLING FROM THEIR MOUTH AND COWBOY HATS.”
Klein speaking to a Tory provincial election campaign rally in Calgary on Oct. 27, 2004. He was talking about two women who were “yipping about AISH payments,” which go to Albertans who are severely handicapped.
He later followed up on that in Grande Prairie by saying: “I’m sure none of you want to talk to me about AISH. No, because you’re normal — severely normal people.”
And his most famous incident, and my personal favourite, is when he drunkenly wandered into a homeless shelter — at Christmas time! — and told the residents to “get a job” (italics mine to highlight the awesome):
“I’M GOING TO TRY AND STAY CLEAN AS LONG AS I CAN, BUT IF FROM TIME TO TIME I HAVE A GLASS OF WINE, DON’T MAKE A MOUNTAIN OUT OF A MOLE HILL.”
Ralph Klein after an infamous December 2001 incident in which he showed up inebriated at a homeless shelter in Edmonton, berated some of the residents for not having jobs, then throwing money on the floor and leaving.
And another account:
At around 1am December 12, a visibly intoxicated Klein had his chauffeur drive him to the Herb Jamieson Centre, a government-supported shelter for homeless men. Witnesses say that soon after entering the 249-bed Centre, Klein began shouting and swearing at a number of the homeless. Slurring his words, the Tory premier yelled repeatedly at them to get jobs, then threw money on the lobby floor and stormed out.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I rest my case.
.: Tags: iggy, politics, sporkless :.
October 26th, 2008 at 6:28 am
You know…the more I hear about y’alls politicians the less apt I am to leave my own country in disgust. ;o)
October 26th, 2008 at 7:36 am
Yup. I suspect that no matter where you go, politicians are a breed apart.
It bears mentioning, by the way, that Ralph Klein was, in many ways, essentially a male Sarah Palin (without the attractive looks): he pandered to the rural conservative huntin’/fishin’/Bible-thumpin’ vote, railed against the ‘elites’ and the educated, and rode massive oil royalties to a successful Provincial economy. Oh, and also like Palin, he was a sportscaster and mayor (albeit of a substantial city, itself larger in population than all of Alaska).
Politicians. Screw the lot of ‘em.
October 26th, 2008 at 11:14 am
Politicians. Screw the lot of ‘em.
Terrific idea. What would you install in their place?
It’s true that there are some crazy ones out there, but there are several that do their level best to be decent public servants. The problem is that the wackos get all the attention. And then the public gets the “screw them all” line going, and what do you think that does to the decent folk who might make decent politicians? It tells them to stay the hell out of the fray.
We get the politicians we deserve.
As for Ralph Klein, he was weird by times, and rude, and drunk, etc., but damn, I still like the guy. Can’t help myself.
October 26th, 2008 at 11:49 am
I have no intention of getting dragged into a serious discussion, Iggy. Nice try.
We also get the Air Canada customer service reps we deserve. Screw them, too.
As for Ralph “Jughead” Klein, I can’t deny that he brought great entertainment value to the job, which is more than can be said for his successor.
October 26th, 2008 at 6:09 pm
At the least, I think we should all agree that politicians should be able to go about their business in public shit-faced drunk. It makes the distasteful side of politics to go down that much smoother.
October 27th, 2008 at 6:51 am
I have no intention of getting dragged into a serious discussion, Iggy. Nice try.
I do apologize, sir.
October 27th, 2008 at 7:49 am
Gosh, you don’t have to apologize. I just want to keep the discussion on this blog at a level of juvenile smartassery. Can’t tarnish my unserious reputation, ya know.