by Lord Edmund Bryll, inventor of Brylcreem

Have I recounted for you, my faithful readership, the fascinating and thoroughly perplexing tale of the rather painful, not to say agonizing, consequences of my altogether befuddling recent banishment to the sitting room, and the ensuing interaction with the medical community with which I was subsequently saddled, though as we shall see said saddling had peculiar and altogether more pleasant ramifications? No, right, yes, well, then let us begin, shall we? Quite.

I shall not here indulge in any further exploration of the mysterious motivations of the lovely Lady Edwina Bryll in sequestering me to the leather chesterfield in our main sitting room, which sleeping accomodations were not initially anticipated to pose any sort of discomfort, but upon further utilization as a dedicated slumbering surface proved to be particularly burdensome, although I must admit to speculative thoughts of Lady Edwina’s sensibilities succumbing to the deletrious effects of her advancing age, not to say the degradation of her looks, which degradation I had recently pointed out to her. No, I shall, as a proper gentleman, refrain from further discourse on the subject of my recalcitrant, not to say bitchy, spouse.

Rather, my intention for this missive is to expound upon the state of affairs vis a vis pain treatment for the spasmodic reaction of my lower back region, said spasms apparently owing their genesis to the chesterfield, which I no longer hold in any singular esteem and which, were I not still barred from my customary sleeping quarters, I would happily relegate to the fireplace in small, satisfyingly disintegrated components. Right, hmm, yes. Quite so.

As you are no doubt aware, trusting as I am of your attention to my previous musings upon this topic, I have embarked on a personal journey of discovery as regards treatment modalities for the painful misconfiguration of muscular tissue in my lower back region. After a somewhat unfortunate, though initially thoroughly pleasant, misstep into the world of prescription narcotic analgesics and their contraindicated application with premium alcoholic beverages, I have undertaken, under the considered advice of my most excellent physician, a course of treatment involving the inhalation of the particulate by-product of the combustion of dried leaves of the cannabis plant, not to say doobies.

My experience thus far with this legal medicinal modality must largely be deemed a success, leading as it has to a marked reduction in my chronic discomfort, whilst at the same time affording me a far more complex understanding of the relative size of my hands. I have also become slightly interested in the possible divinity of Emperor Haille Selassie I of Ethiopia, who I had the pleasure to meet in 1935, although at that time I did not recognize any signs of his incarnation of the ever-loving Jah. The unexpected side-effect of my wife’s actions are altogether welcome, though lamentably the circumstances have led to unanticipated friction between myself and the house staff, particularly owing to the difficultly of rousing the kitchen personnel at three o’clock in the morning to sate my increasingly insistent desire for fried corn-flour crisps covered in processed cheese-food power.

As for my back pain, it is decreasingly problematic, as sharp-witted readers may have gathered already, to the extent that I fear I may be required to fib slightly to my physician, owing to my desire to continue the course of treatment for a while longer in order to maintain this pleasant state, not to say irie.

This entry was posted on Saturday, November 22nd, 2008 at 2:05 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.