by Ingvar Jævel, foreign exchange student and correspondent for Krankor Media

Hello to you all my many friends! Once again it is I, Ingvar! From Norway!

Today I am writing to you from America’s Oslo: Washington, D.C.! I do not know what the D.C. stands for, but it is probably something stupid!

I came to Washington to see the great “Barack Attack” that is the inauguration of the new president! When I arrive in the morning there were already very many people there from many different parts of the country and different degrees of sanity! Within a five minute walk I meet people who think Obama is a saviour like Jesus and other people who think he is the Anti-Christ! If he turns out to be the Anti-Christ I bet the people who think he is Jesus will feel like real assholes! Plus I guess we will all be dead or something so I hope for the Jesus thing!

There are also some people there singing a song called “Barack the Magic Negro”! They should not make fun! He could use his magic to curse them with crotch fungus! But it did remind me of a song we sing in Norway:

Björn the Swedish asshole
Makes flimsy crap
From knotty pine and sawdust
And as strong as bubble wrap

His bookshelves last forever
His chairs will never break
As long as you don’t sit on them
Or use them by mistake

It is funnier in Bokmål!

So eventually the ceremony began and holy people said prayers and things which makes sense if Obama turns out to be Jesus! There was also a speech or something but I could not hear it because I was so far away! But the people around me were happy judging by the way they were sending messages on Twitter on their cell phones! I bet each message was profound and meaningful and not a maximum of 140 characters of solipsistic bullshit!

I also met a sad man who asked me where to find “hookers and blow”! I think it was John Edwards!

A man came through the crowd selling t-shirts that said “I went to Obama’s inauguration and all I got was this lousy t-shirt!” Ha! It is funny because it is so unfunny! I asked him if he would give me one for free because I was Ted Kennedy but I don’t think he believed me so I offered to drown him in a car accident to prove it! I don’t think he knew I was joking but he refused to make eye contact so who knows?!

I have to say that I find Obama inspiring even when all I see of him today is a little speck off in the distance saying something about killing whitey or whatever it was! It was a beautiful day! There was even no rain or anything! Plus a black man became President and John Edwards vomited on my shoes!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 20th, 2009 at 8:35 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.