Brylcreem is made of elephant procreative emissions and other facts you should know
by Reginald Phlegmingham, Duke of Crapping-Upon-Bryllshire
Why hello there, and an especial hello to all of the ladies out there. How you doin’?
Do you know the secret ingredient to Brylcreem? Well I do. I have to whole damn recipe, right here. Lord Eddie Shittinghimselfinfear doesn’t want you to know this, but what the fuck. Here it is, bitches:
- Vaseline
- Elephant <censored>
A little dab’ll do ya indeed.
A real man doesn’t slather pachyderm seed in his hair, my friends. A real man wouldn’t have even considered the idea. So what are we to make of Lord Eddie’s “invention”? What do you figure was going through his mind when he decided to run that shit through his follicles? Damn.
A real man grows fuckin’ hamsters on his jawline. I know it, you know it, and Lord Eddie knows who the king is. What has two mutton chops and goes through ladies like Tom Cruise goes through midgets? This guy.
Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about.
.:
December 21st, 2009 at 8:44 am
Oh my God. I can barely see the screen. You do realize that this post is going to replay over and over in my head all day, don’t you? And that I’m going to burst out laughing – no, howling – at an inappropriate moment later on? And that it’s all going to be your fault, you sick bastard? You do get all that, right?
Holy crow. I haven’t laughed this hard in months. Thank you, Reginald… er, Krankor… whomever.
December 21st, 2009 at 8:46 am
I mean, just read this: A real man wouldn’t have even considered the idea. So what are we to make of Lord Eddie’s “invention”? What do you figure was going through his mind when he decided to run that shit through his follicles? Damn.
Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Holy shit! This is the funniest damn thing ever.
December 21st, 2009 at 7:40 pm
The real question is how LEB (or anyone) goes about obtaining a supply of the secret ingredient. That’s gotta be dangerous work.