Flex Studler responds to your comments! Right on!
I don’t want to say anything bad about Krankor, since he’s given me a place to share my deepest thoughts — it’s almost as if I can reach out and high five every one of you! — but it seems like Krankor’s comment system is as loopy as Oil Can Boyd after a night huffing Gold Bond. This brilliant — no, AWESOME! — comment was hung up in the computer’s spam filter for over a month. So I’m taking the unprecedented — no, AWESOME! — step of posting it right on the home page! YEAH! And responding to each point! LET’S DO THIS!
sporkless Says:
January 19th, 2010 at 7:15 pm eRex, let’s talk Hall Of Fame voting.
Right on, brother! I LOVE talking about Hall of Fame voting almost as much as I like talking about Jesus. HE’s the ORIGINAL Hall of Famer! YEAH!
All of the pundits this year were especially upset that Roberto Alomar was a few votes short from being elected in his first year of eligibility. As usual, many such pundits used this opportunity to make a big fooforah about the voting system and how flawed it is, and that anyone that didn’t vote for Alomar should be shot and pissed on (or have their vote revoked, something like that, I don’t remember)…
I never liked Robbieberto that much. Seemed like a brother who wouldn’t catch you on the rebound because he thought he was too good to associate with a utility infielder. That’s probably not a good enough reason to keep him out of the Hall, but I’ll be damned if I’ll let him into my rec-room to play beer pong.
But never mind that. The writers that should have their vote revoked are NOT the ones that didn’t vote for Alomar. The writers that should be ousted are the ones that voted for the likes of Ellis Burks, Eric Karros, David Segui, etc.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baseball_Hall_of_Fame_balloting,_2010
David Segui and I were at a celebrity golf tournament in Arizona once during Spring Training and he ate the bagel and lox that I stuck in the mini-fridge for lunch. So fuck him. Ellis Burks, though, was one of my favorites. That guy did the best Garrett Morris impersonation! Brother cracked me up! So, yeah, HE belongs in the Hall, no question!
But YOU, Rex, you were unfairly excluded from the HOF vote in your first year of eligibility! No one was even allowed to vote for you!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baseball_Hall_of_Fame_balloting,_2004
I won’t lie to you brother, I was pretty disappointed with that whole thing. Maybe what the Hall needs is a Utility Infielder wing, to honor the greats like me, and Tom Foley. Just because we aren’t all Babe Ruth, is that any reason for the Hall to leave a brother hanging?
That’s just wrong. So let’s replace the current system with a more fair system of letting Krankor, Ig, and myself exclusively determine who goes in the HOF. And while we’re at it, we should be allowed to expel those duffers such as Stan Musial and Christy Mathewson who clearly don’t deserve to share space with guys like Don Money and Nelson Liriano.
And you know what? We didn’t need steroids to reach great heights, to go for it, to perform truly inspiring and high-five-worthy feats. We just went out there and gave it our all, brother! So what if everything we had wasn’t good enough for the Hall of Fame? It was good enough to score some tail during Spring Training, and isn’t that more important in the end? HELL YES! RIGHT ON!
.:
March 1st, 2010 at 8:19 am
I think my favourite all time Rex moment was the time you, Rex, you were playing in the one-game playoff for California back in 1995. You had reached first base – by accident, no doubt – and took off when the pitcher (some cheating, balking lefty) started to move. Only he didn’t pitch to the plate; he was throwing to first. But you were movin’. The throw came into the shortstop covering second just as you slid, feet first like a man, into the bag, and the tag was an eyelash too late. You bounced up, the ump called you safe, and you pointed and screamed at the umpire. Your shouting looked suspiciously like someone who had just had three hundred cups of coffee, and wanted to the let the ump know that he was “!#$!*#$!(*) right!!!!” over the safe call.
Good times, good times. Too bad California lost the game because J.T. Snow couldn’t figure out how to field a weak ground ball up the first base line.
March 1st, 2010 at 7:47 pm
You know, for a journeyman utility infielder, it’s surprising how many memorable “Rex moments” there are. I’d be hard pressed to pick a favourite from among:
* Rex sitting on the bench, staring forward intently as if he’s really focused on the action on field, popping sunflower seeds into his mouth. Each time he throws a seed into his mouth, he scooches down the bench a little bit, shoving the guy next to him a little and causing five guys to shuffle over in a chain reaction. Seed, scooch, shuffle. Seed, scooch, shuffle. At the end of the bench is Pascual Perez, who has not clue what is happening and is getting visible freaked out by getting shoved toward the end of the bench in the inexorable rhythm of Rex’s scooching. Beautiful.
* Rex hitting a home run in extra innings — top of the 10th, if I recall — and double high-fiving his teammates so hard that they all hunch over, wincing. One player, maybe Tim Wallach, turns away rapidly to avoid having to receive a righteous fiver
* Running back to the dugout after that same home run, putting on his mitt, and sitting there slapping it impatiently, visibily vibrating in anticipation of going out in the bottom of the inning and defending the lead he just gave the Expos.
* The Mike LaValliere moment, naturally.
Good times, good times.
March 2nd, 2010 at 8:03 am
The “scooch” incident was fricking HILARIOUS. I thought Pascual was going to go postal on him for a minute.
March 2nd, 2010 at 9:26 am
Also, in regards to Ig’s comment: Rex ALWAYS looks like he’s had about three hundred cups of coffee. Even when he’s broadcasting.
Another favourite Rex moment: Rex was playing for the Angels in Baltimore the day that Cal Ripken broke the consecutive games record in 1995. As you may recall, Cal hit a home run in the 4th, the crowd, teammates, and announcers were going nuts and everyone pretty much thought that at this moment in time, Cal was a god on earth. Since the Angels were trailing, the game was made official after the last out in the top of the 5th, and there were some fireworks and an announcement, and that was supposed to be it. But the crowd was giving an interminable standing ovation, so some Oriole teammates forced Cal out of the dugout to do a “victory lap” and shake hands (a bit sheepishly) with the fans in the front rows around the stadium.
Well, Rex had taken his position at second base, and had totally joined in to the standing ovation by pounding his throwing hand into his glove with great power and rapidity. And then when the game was further delayed while Cal went on his victory lap, Rex was so excited, he was kind of bouncing up and down like a little boy, and sort of shadowed Cal as he circled the stadium, about 100 feet to the interior, continuing to bounce up and down and applaud as he went.
March 2nd, 2010 at 9:56 am
I’d forgotten about that! Like I said, so many great Rex moments.
March 2nd, 2010 at 10:00 am
Oh my God. I had no idea Rex had done that when Ripken made his victory lap around the stadium. That is righteous! Hahahahahaha!!!
March 3rd, 2010 at 5:02 pm
By the way, the slur against David Segui is just wrong. I once saw a game where David Segui got a base hit with a runner on third in the first inning, an obvious indication of his intangible greatness.
March 3rd, 2010 at 7:39 pm
Listen, brother, I don’t hold a grudge against hardly anybody. But when a man eats another man’s lox and bagel, he crosses a bro-line that cannot be uncrossed. The only way he could earn my forgiveness is if he had a special needs child, but so far he and his wife are too stubborn to make that happen.