Open thread, hosted by Mark McGwire’s integrity

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3 Responses to “Open thread, hosted by Mark McGwire’s integrity”

  1. Ozzie Canseco Says:

    I am available for appearances as Jose for events, birthday parties, bar mitzvahs, weddings, or even if you just want to hang out. $10 per appearance, flat rate. I’ll stay as long as you want. I can make up stories and pretend to be Jose. I will allow you to take your picture with me and I will sign it as Jose, all included in the $10. I do not supply steroids. But I know a guy and I can hook you up as part of the $10. I once banged two strippers who thought I was Jose. But it cost a lot more than $10 so I need some bookings soon.

  2. Jose Canseco Says:

    I am available for appearances for events, birthday parties, bar mitzvahs, weddings, or even if you just want to hang out. $1000 per appearance, flat rate. I’ll stay as long as you want. I can make up stories. I will allow you to take your picture with me and I will sign it, all included in the $1000. I do not supply steroids. But I know a guy and I can hook you up as part of the $1000. I once banged six strippers who thought I was Jose. And I was.

    Don’t settle for a cheap imitation Jose when the real deal is only $1000 away.

  3. Dan Rather Says:

    Cheap imitations are okay, because even if they’re fake, we’ll say they’re real anyway.