By Daniella A. Apple

So I heard somewhere last week that President Barackobama is going to stop sending NASA army men to the moon. Good! Except I don’t really trust it. Mr. Barackobama seems nice and everything, and even though he’s African-Canadian (well, half African-Canadian at least) I still think he is telling us lies about what is really happening on the moon. Maybe he doesn’t know. The Norwegians might not have told him yet.

Some crazy people believe that Lance Armstrong didn’t really go to the moon in the 1960s. Funny. I know lots of people who’ve been to the moon, and even to other planets outside of the moon. I even had sex with some of them, so I know the moon landings really took place. The crazies and conspiracy theorists are all paid shills to keep us from knowing about Monsanto’s massive zucchini plantations on the moon. Well, they don’t call them “crazies” for nothing I guess.

Anyway, Mr. Barackobama said he would stop the moon missions, which is good if it is true. We waste millions of dollars sending army men to the moon when there are people starving right here in Deershit Hills! Also, I hear that astronauts have to poop in space diapers, which seems like some sort of human rights abuse. I’ll ask PETA at the next meeting. Don’t even talk to me about Tang.

As a politician I really know what it’s like to make tough political decisions, especially ones the Corporations don’t want you to say anything about. So what would I do about space exploration? Funny. I don’t have to tell you that.

This entry was posted on Sunday, March 14th, 2010 at 6:11 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.