Oh shit.

My beautiful patch of Siberia appears to be immune so far, since the little bastards can’t tolerate heavy ground frost. Around here, the frost line is about 45 fathoms, so until Al Gore brings some of that sweet global warming our way, I think we’re safe from fire ants.

MONTREAL - The prime minister was compared to Adolf Hitler during a protest by members of Montreal’s arts community condemning cuts to a variety of federal arts programs.

In a rally Wednesday that cut across partisan politics, artists including playwright Michel Tremblay and La La La Human Steps founder Edouard Lock signed a letter urging the Harper government to rescind $46 million in cuts it has made to several arts funding programs.

At the end of what was meant to be a satirical sketch about “artistic degenerates,” Walter Boudreau, an artistic director, flashed a Nazi salute and cried “Sieg Harper.”

Eat a dick, M. Boudreau. Or at least next time, instead of comparing a reduction in public funding for the arts to a regime that slaughtered millions of people, pick an analogy that is less of a stretch. For instance, Stephen Harper == Snidely Whiplash. That would be funny, catch the attention of the press, and has the subtle but important advantage of not invoking the fucking Holocaust in your petulant attempts to continue suckling off the public teat.

There’s a local newspaper columnist (who’s also a very minor novelist) who publishes a column every couple of days whining about how the various levels of government should be pouring money into the arts like a broken water main. Typical headlines from his babbling are along the lines of, “More Funding Desperately Needed to Stem Exodus of People Who Paint With Their Pubic Hair” or “Alberta Won’t Be Taken Seriously Until We Have a Gallery for Progressive Amputee Erotica” or “Memo To Stelmach: Money Should Go To Real Contributors To Society, Like Subversive Graffiti Communes.” But I don’t think even he wouldn’t go as far as the Montreal bozos and start flinging around Nazi references: he may be a douchebag, but he’s got standards.

On a somewhat related note, there’s quite a debate raging in this neck of the woods over public funding for a new stadium. On the one hand, detractors rightly point out that spending bucket-loads of money on a building where a filthy rich owner can make money off his rich players seems to be a poor use of public funds. On the other hand, a lot of people really want a new stadium (whether it’s necessary or not), and are willing to listen to plans that involve civic funding.

Me? I want a new stadium, but I want elves to pay for it. Or maybe Montreal artists… damn Nazis.

To grossly simplify it, on a scale smaller than atoms, the quantum level, everything suddenly turns into a goddamn circus. Quantum physics is to regular everyday physics as a David Lynch film is to a mainstream blockbuster. We’re talking particles popping in and out of existence, being in two places at the same time, and generally acting like assholes.

Lots of possible Carp fans here, too, if you catch my drift. No BayStars fans, though; they’d be to ashamed to show their faces in public.

On the drive up my daughter alternated between excitement and grumpiness, and as we spied the snowcaps for the first time I remarked, “Wow, isn’t that beautiful?” Her reply: “Yeah, but I’m just not interested.” Fair enough, I guess. I think I’ll use that one at work next week:

My boss: “This is a great opportunity!”
Me: “Yeah, but I’m just not interested.”
My boss: “…”

HAVANA - Fidel Castro on Monday defended the Cuban taekwondo athlete who kicked a referee in the face at the Beijing Olympics, saying Angel Matos was rightfully indignant over his disqualification from the bronze-medal match.

Taekwondo officials want Matos and his coach banned for life from the sport. But Castro expressed “our total solidarity” for both Matos and his coach Leudis Gonzalez.

[...]

“They had tried to buy his own coach,” Castro wrote in his essay published in state media. “He could not contain himself.”

Cuba is accustomed to winning golds in boxing, but settled this year for four silver and four bronze medals. Overall, Cuba took home only two golds, down from nine in Athens four years ago.

“I saw when the judges blatantly stole fights from two Cuban boxers in the semifinals,” Castro wrote. “Our fighters … had hopes of winning, despite the judges, but it was useless. They were condemned beforehand.”

The ailing, 82-year-old ex-president also noted that defections have taken their toll, blaming “the repugnant mercenary actions” of promoters who lure Cuban boxers off the island with lucrative contracts.

I predict that Matos will be awarded Cuba’s highest honour (The Purple Cubana of Communist Brotherhood and Salad Bar), and will promptly defect to the US to become an MMA star.

This does not in any way absolve you comment-monkeys from doing your damn jobs, alright? What am I paying you people for, anyway?

I’m still reluctantly endorsing the Obama/Other Guy ticket, for the usual reasons. Be warned, however: if the Other Guy is soft on the undead, my support can be withdrawn.