Don’t let the Norwegians fool you!!!

Wednesday, June 17th, 2009

by Daniella A. Apple, Christioventalismist
I bet a lot of you think that the world environment on Earth is just fine and we don’t have to worry about anything because there is no pollution or chemicals in our lettuce. Wrong! That’s what they want you to believe. They also want you to believe that showering is [...]

Coming soon

Friday, May 8th, 2009

Daniella A. Apple pickets the Norwegian Embassy in Ottawa.

Outtakes

Sunday, March 22nd, 2009

Everybody loves outtakes, right? No? Screw you.
Anyway, I was just doing some housecleaning on this here bloglike device, and noticed dozens of abortive posts. Many of them exist solely as enigmatic titles, and whose prospective contents I no longer remember. Here are some of the more promising sounding ones:

The Krankor Level of Excellence: The Reachatariat
Bashing [...]

Ask the Krankor Krew!

Saturday, February 21st, 2009

By popular demand, I’m introducing a new feature that will make Krankor 27.43% more interactive and also bring us into compliance with DoD 5015.02-STD (our auditors tell us we need this to get ISO 9000 certification).
So, in the comments below, I invite you to ask any question you like of any of the Krankor stable [...]

Steroid users should be executed for the environment

Thursday, February 12th, 2009

by Daniella A. Apple, sports commentator
So I have been protesting out in front of the Walmart because it is the most evil Corporation the planet has ever seen. People tell me I am exaggerating but I will prove them wrong with my protest signs comparing Walmart to Hitler. I think I am convincing lots of [...]

Action Items

Wednesday, January 14th, 2009

Things have been slow ’round these here parts on account of the new year backlog at work, but I wanted to let everybody know about the toasty goodness that’s almost ready to be served. I’ll list them here in Sporkless-approved bullet form, so as not to incur his wrath any further. I heard that Sporkless [...]

Wal-Mart theft case declared mistrial

Thursday, January 8th, 2009

January 8, 2009
The Deershit Hills Gazette
by Gazette Staff
A mistrial was declared today in the trial of an area man accused of stealing over $10,000 in electronics from the Larvae Oaks Wal-Mart in September. Raymund O’Toole, 27, of Landfill Gultch, is accused of breaking into the department store in the early hours of September 4, 2008, [...]

Jury duty is like serving your country without warring or spying

Tuesday, January 6th, 2009

by Daniella A. Apple, upstanding citizen, crank
So I got called in for Jury Duty last month. I guess being a successful political candidate means that the justice systems recognize that I am trustworthy and judgemental, so of course I said yes even though it is corrupt and controlled by an international cabal of Corporations and [...]

A holiday gift for the bewildered

Friday, December 26th, 2008

I make no apologies for the esoteric, not to say peculiar, nature of the posts on this site. To the extent that it’s funny to anyone at all, I expect that my old friends get the most out of it, though even they probably think I’m a few nerds short of a sci-fi convention, so [...]

Quick housekeeping note

Thursday, December 18th, 2008

Been busy. Hope to post more soon, but in the meantime here’s a quick summary of current events ’round here:

Lord Edmund Bryll has finally been allowed back into the bedroom. Or, as he put it in an excruciatingly long e-mail to me: “I find myself in the altogether pleasant, not to say triumphant, position of [...]